Worst Valentine's Ever.... My Fault, Not His

Valentine's Day was on a Sunday this year, so Clayton and I were planning on making the whole weekend a Valentine's celebration. Good intentions, but it was a roller-coaster the whole weekend. It started off fantastically when he ordered flowers and sent them to me at school on Friday. A-dorable! The best was the reaction from the girls in my class. "Are the from a boy?" "Yes" "Oooohhhhhhh!!!!" So cute, so cute. After school I got pretty busy and got a later start up there than I wanted, so I of course got stuck in traffic and had a miserable drive up there. When I got there he comes walking out with a teddy bear in his hands, and the teddy bear is wearing the watch he bought me. So cute, but I was a little too cranky from the drive, and a little too not expecting to share presents right then that I didn't react the way he wanted. So the poor guy didn't think I liked the gift. Not true! I loved it!! Then we headed out to dinner. Dinner didn't go as we had planned because it was at dinner that I reminded him that we had plans that he completely forgot about and that we wouldn't have time for after dinner ended. Plus our waitress was slow, and the steak that I ordered well done had some definite pink in it. So at dinner Clayton was still beating himself up over forgetting our plans, and some other things he was harping on himself for, plus I was tired, plus I wasn't as impressed with the restaurant as I was hoping I would be. We went home, and we were so tired that we just fell asleep. Not the greatest Valentine's activity, but it was okay.

Saturday he had ski patrol, so we were up and out early in the morning. Ski patrol is fun for me because I get to go up snowboarding, but it's also not fun for me because it's a lot of waiting around when he has to fulfill his obligations. One time when he was out doing bobsled training I did go out by myself. On the first run down, I twisted my knee. Not too bad, so I went down again. That time I did something weird and I slammed my head against the ground. By then, I figured, he'd be just about done, and so I went to the top and waited in the patrol room for him. I waited for an hour. After an hour, I was so antsy to get back out, that I didn't care how scared I was to go down. I just gave up on trying to learn the proper way to go down (the reason I've been falling more now is because I'm trying to do it the right way, not the safe/easy way), and I just made it safely down any way I could. When I got to the top that time, he had just made it back. We had lunch and headed out again. After getting hurt, I got really frustrated at the whole sucking thing, and so I was pretty much miserable company. I really hate being bad at things, so I was not in a good mood. And then poor Clayton didn't realize how grumpy I was, so he was trying to joke around with me and I was NOT having it. So although I wasn't really mad at him, I definitely took it out on him. Luckily after a couple of runs I was able to change my attitude and started having fun again. But, then I had more wait time as he cleaned up a blood injury, which ended up waisting my time for one last run. Not anticipating ending so soon and having so much time to wait for him to close the runs, I got a little aggravated again, but I calmed myself down because he had no control over any of it and he was just doing his job.

I don't even know why, but we started fighting on the drive home and the last 10-15 minutes of the drive was in silence. That's never a good thing, because if you give me quiet time, I'll have lots of time to do some negative reflective thinking. So by time we got back, I took my stuff straight up to my room to get ready for the rest of the night. I wanted to bad to cry because I realized that Clayton and I just don't match up, but I couldn't cry, because of that dang logical head of mine. I got all ready to go, but couldn't get my watch on, and took it down to Clayton so he could help me. I wouldn't look at him and he said, "Somethings wrong" "Yep" I went and sat down on the couch and started crying. I don't think he knew what to do with that. He tried to get me to talk about it, but I really didn't want to. I went up stairs to cry on the bed instead and then sent him a text message saying that we didn't fit. He came up and after a lot of coaxing he got me to talk. In my broken logic, I tried to explain what I was freaking out about, but it wasn't really coming out right, and I couldn't remember all the arguments I had come up with in the car. Eventually I had just had enough crying and I calmed down and we headed out. That thing that we had planned to do on Friday was go look at rings. I have no idea what kind I want, and so we were just going to go look at some so I could get a feel of what types there are. Because we missed the boat on that one of Friday we were going to do it Saturday, but I really didn't feel like marrying him on Saturday so we blew those plans. I was also supposed to cook for him on Saturday so we could avoid crowded restaurants, but by the time I was done having my mini-break down, I was hungry and didn't want to have to go to the store, get the stuff, then wait while it cooked. If we had done that, we wouldn't have eaten until after 9:00. So we went out to eat and then drove up Ogden Canyon to look at the city lights. So the rest of the evening picked up, but I had already done a lot of damage. Day number two of Valentine's weekend- sunk :o(

Yesterday was actually Valentine's Day, and even though we didn't do anything big, it was the most enjoyable, because it was the day that we got along the best. We went to church at his home ward, which was nice, because I got to talk to his mom and sister Stephanie before and after Relief Society, and the Sunday School lesson was much better this time than last time. Then we came home, talked, watched the Proposal, and relaxed. Right before dinner, I got into watching the NASCAR race with his dad, I didn't know it would be so easy to get sucked into that, it always seemed so boring. But after dinner we went down stairs and went through a list of questions that all couples should discuss before they get married. When we didn't have any major disagreements with those, I felt much better about things (you know, that freak out was still lingering just a little). Then we studied scriptures, he showed me his favorite video game, and then it was time for bed. Final day of Valentine's weekend- Score!